I'm More Awesomer Than You.
"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." -Romans 12:3 I'm awesome. If awesome had cream that rose to the top, I would be awesome cream.
There are stretches of time where I feel like I'm doing great- I'm obedient, I'm nice, I'm faithful, I'm patient, I'm kind, I'm loving- I'm just a whole lot of awesome! That's what I am! I am so awesome that I think that I've got it all figured out. I've got all my ducks in a row. I am the best! Nobody has ever been like me! I'm the awesome thats in the awesome. And that's when I remember Romans 12:3... God injects it into my brain, like a wet blanket marinated in humble sauce.
I was planning the Easter services in my head a week ago and had a good direction. I was thinking through the placement of the drums in relation to the stage props, the set list in relation to the message, the musicians and singers, the placement of the speakers in the outdoor amphitheater and how I was going to keep the phasing from blowing out all 3000 people's ear drums in the service... and the list goes on and on. I was just about to finish it up and put a bow on the plan and report it to my senior pastor. I'm awesome, by the way.
Enter one of my worship leaders. She comes up to me and says, "what's the plan for Easter? My team is on that weekend and they would like to know what we are doing." Cue the ominous tri-tone- duH-dUH-DUH! In that moment, I remembered that I am not alone in this (how long have I been doing this?). I committed the cardinal sin of leadership... disregarding or at the very least, forgetting to seek out the input of the leaders under my care.
Then I remember the next part in Romans 12- "For just as each of us has one body with many members and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we, who are many have one body and each member belongs to all of the others."
I'm convinced that when my personal awesome tank is full, God reminds me that His purpose and plan for me is not for my own greatness. It is for the greatness of Him who made me. He also reminds me I am part of the collective awesome that is His body of believers. That being said, I love that cold, heavy sopping-wet blanket that douses my tendency to think more highly of myself than I ought because if I am not regularly humbled, regularly grounded and regularly given God's perspective, I would miss the opportunity to love; to love sincerely. To listen. To listen intently. To care. To care completely. To lead. To lead diligently. Oh, and be able to humbly change the course that I may have set out to travel, especially when I'm the only one on the trail.